Decision time has come. The past eight months, I have been working on increasing my
fitness level and decreasing my body fat percentage. The next four months, I will continue on this same path,
building a solid foundation and leaning down. As of February 2014, after spending this year building my
endurance, developing my musculature for running, developing my heart/lung
efficiency, increasing my physical strength and, possibly more importantly,
increasing my mental strength and fortitude, I will begin training for my first
marathon. This will be my first
step towards fulfilling my dream of running ultra distances, which is, for
those of you unfamiliar with what constitutes an ultra, any distance over the
distance of a marathon or 26.2 miles.
It’s scary taking first steps. It’s exciting, too!
I can’t wait to begin training with a specific race and distance in
mind. When I think about it, I
feel as if I might bubble over with excitement. I feel even more excitement when I think about pushing my
body and mind beyond my comprehension.
If you were to ask me why I want to push my body to the brink, push my
mind beyond perceived limitations, I don’t know that I could tell you in
words. I just have this
deep-seated desire to do so.
Because everyone experiences pushing themselves differently, it is just
something one must experience for him or herself to understand such a desire.
I will find out, over time, whether or not my body will
handle an ultramarathon. I know,
right now, it wouldn’t, because I don’t have the necessary foundation. I have been much too sedentary and
overweight most of my life. That
is why I am taking a full year to lay that foundation. Only after that year will I begin
training towards something as specific as a marathon. My body and my mind need that time to strengthen and
develop. What is interesting to me
is how much I have developed over the
last eight months. My body is
transforming into a runner’s body, slimming down and becoming increasingly
fit. My mental stamina and focus
has increased exponentially. When
I think back over my training, I remember the days when it was all I could do
to push myself out the door and go for a run. Seldom did I give in to the voices in my head about being
tired and not wanting to go, which I know has contributed to the increase in
mental strength. I remember the
runs that just felt like they hurt so bad (not injury-wise, but rather just my
body adjusting to the activity), I didn’t think I could go on. I went on anyways.
Then, the perseverance, the doing it anyways, paid off. I experienced my first run where
cardiovascular and respiratory systems collided and began working together
instead of separate. What a joyous
day that was! I don’t think I had
ever experienced anything so freeing.
Slowly, gradually, I began experiencing that feeling more often. Now, I experience it regularly for
longer stretches of my runs. For
several months, I have felt exhausted after my runs. I’ve been tired at work and have felt like I haven’t been
able to get enough sleep. I’ve
kept running anyways. I have pushed
through the fatigue, knowing I would eventually get to the point I wouldn’t be
as tired as I was. I was
correct. Yesterday was the first
day I realized I wasn’t fighting to stay awake following my run. I also realized I didn’t have to fight
through any exhaustion at work. I
am beginning to feel alive. Not
just living, but alive! I feel good! All this, after I just completed the most miles I have run
in one week when I finished last week with over 40 miles.
I can’t reiterate to you enough how persevering through and
ignoring the negative voices in my head has contributed to where I am today
with my running. It is so rewarding
to look back at where I was and where I am now. I get excited considering where this journey is taking me,
especially when I consider then and now.
I can see how far I have come in just eight months and it is nothing
short of incredible to me. The growth
and development increases my belief in myself and fuels my dedication to my
journey.
I know running a marathon will not be easy. I know running an ultra will be even
more difficult than a marathon. Will
I ever complete an ultra? I don’t
have an answer for that question right now. My preferred answer is yes; I will complete an ultra. I will complete many ultras,
ideally. But, right now, it is
just that, an idea, a desire, a dream.
Only with time, dedication, and perseverance will this dream have the
potential of becoming reality. In
the meantime, I will continue sharing my progress and my journey. When I begin, training, I will blog
about my training. As I continue
to progress mentally, I will share that journey as well. Who knows…maybe someday I will see my
name among the list of runners who have finished the Badwater 135 or Spartathalon
Ultra Race (153 miles) like so many ultra-distance runners before me. What I do know is I am going after this
dream with every fiber of my being.
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