Written
April 22, 2013:
“Choose Something Important to
Run For; Make Your Running About More Than Your Own Personal Time Goals”~Coach Caleb’s Daily Running Tips
This
quote stood out to me this morning.
I’m not sure why, except that I had not previously thought about
actually running for something. I had only thought in terms of running and, in that,
bettering my time and reaching my own goals. I am still so new to the running scene. I have run one 5k (back in 2008), but
quickly got away from running because, at the time, I was quite a bit heavier
and I just did not enjoy it. It
was a chore. It was drudgery. I hated it. That combination does not lend itself
to being successful. If anything,
it leads to a quick withdrawal from anything running related. Since 2008 and up until about two
months ago, I moved my workouts back into the gym. I initially went back and joined some of the fitness
classes. Boring! I climbed on the Arc Trainer and on the
stationary bike. Again,
boring! I decided it was time to
get back into weight training, specifically powerlifting (I had weight trained
in the past, for about two years in 2006 and 2007). I knew I needed to put on muscle to drop anymore fat. So, I set a goal and decided that I
would lift in my first powerlifting competition in June 2013. I trained, and I trained hard, starting
back in July of 2012. I could feel
the increase in muscle. I could
see the fat dropping away. My
clothes size dropped, even though I did not drop any weight. My body composition was changing, for
the good.
As
I progressed in my training, I found myself withdrawing once again. I dreaded going to the gym (and I
realized that I had dreaded it from the get-go). I took no pleasure in working out. It was simply a means to an end, lifting as much weight as
possible in June 2013. After several
months of toying with different ideas, I made the decision to stop training for
the powerlifting competition. I
decided I would weight train to weight train, for my health and well-being. It became easier to go in and workout,
though still not enjoyable. But,
that was okay at the time. Then,
in October 2012, at the tender age of 38, I learned to ride a bike. I tried several times to learn when I
was a child, but never caught on as to how to keep the bike upright. Because I had never learned and my
husband had talked about getting me out there to learn how, he challenged our then
11-year-old daughter to teach me how to ride. It took a few days, but she taught me. And I was hooked. I did not have the training gear, nor
the bike, to get outdoors during the winter months, so I settled for riding the
stationary bike, working on form and cardio. Still boring, yes, but better because I had a new focus and
a different reason for using it indoors.
Now that it is spring, we are still waiting on our bikes, though
purchasing time is drawing nigh.
In
the meantime, I decided one morning, about two months ago, I wanted to go for a
run. Where the thought or desire
came from, I have no idea. I ran,
for about two miles. It felt
different this time. I felt
lighter, I felt better, it was fun and enjoyable. I felt free. I
have run nearly everyday since that time, missing only in the severest of
weather and when I felt my body just needed the break. I have steadily increased my pace and
brought my time down. I have
increased my distance and my stamina.
But, I don’t want to get back to that point where I wonder why I am
doing what I am doing. I know
there will be times when I question, when I wonder, but I also know that that
is typically when I quit, when I allow too much questioning, too much wondering;
when I push myself to the point of it being all about the PRs instead of
running for the love of it. I
think that is why that quote stuck out in my mind as important.
To
run for something bigger than myself, my goals, my PRs, means I am running for more
than just me. It
certainly gives me something to think about, something to work towards,
something to believe in. It gives
me the potential for external motivation when the internal motivation is
struggling. So long as I do not
rely on that external motivation over my internal motivation, I believe running
for something greater than me can help in those times of decreased internal
motivation, as I work to rebuild my internal motivation, my desire to run. Now to decide who or what I will run
for outside of myself. I have some
ideas, but I will take the next few days or so to make a final decision because
I think it has to be meaningful to be productive.
Addendum,
written 04/23/2013: I have put
more thought into the above subject and I think balance is important. I want to find something or someone
worth running for…but I will not run solely for a cause or a person. Then it becomes all about the cause and
that can make the running a drudgery, also; a forced activity that loses it’s
spontaneity and fun. I will
continue running for myself, for the fun of it, for the sheer pleasure and
enjoyment. When it’s not so
pleasurable, I will dig deep and focus on the cause, whatever that focus may
be. It may even change from time
to time.
On
yesterday’s run, when I felt like I didn’t want to keep going because my feet
were a little tired, I thought of our grandson, who has an extremely rare
congenital brain degenerative disease that has kept him in a wheelchair for the
last several years, and he is only 12.
The disease has resulted in his mammalian brain degenerating to the
point that he cannot speak clearly, he does not have control over bodily
functions, he cannot walk or crawl, he cannot write. However, it has not affected his prefrontal cortex, the area
of the brain where thought and learning occur. He is incredibly bright, but cannot express what is inside
his head. I know he would love to
be out there like other kids, running and playing. So, I thought of him and how he would love the opportunity to
run and I kept going. Later in my
run, when it became difficult again, I thought of other things, such as the sun
warming my body, the clarity of the sky, the beauty of my surroundings, and I
kept running. I focused on my
breathing, my foot placement, my cadence, and I kept running. I thought about my blog, my writing,
things to write about, and I kept running. I thought of many different things, besides my pace and my
goals, and I kept running. I don’t
know what my journey is all about, yet, but then, that is partly why I am writing
about it. It is just that; a
journey, with surprises, unknowns, indefinites. I’m excited to experience this journey and I can’t wait to
get back out there for another run.
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